How the World Sees You
How the World Sees You

How the World Sees You

Body language expert Dr. Jack Brown says that when a client is fascinated, he becomes less self-conscious. His face slackens, eyes widen, pupils dilate, palms relax. (Location 831)

Start your next meeting with a story instead of a spreadsheet. Make your audience feel as well as think. Connect emotionally with them by telling a personal anecdote that reinforces the point of your presentation. (Location 861)

Don’t focus on how you are similar to others, but how you are different. Leading brands stand out by sharpening their points of difference. (Location 894)

The key here is to fully recognize your differences, rather than just your strengths. The reality is, strengths can be copied. (Location 911)

Your personality is the only aspect of your work that nobody can copy. People can copy your product, your pricing, your actions, your recipe or program or formula. (Location 913)

It’s a virtuous cycle: When you feel more fascinated, you become more fascinating. (Location 950)

Charisma is easy to identify, yet hard to describe. It’s personal magnetism. The X-factor. In one person it might be an air of confidence, while in someone else it might be a sense of mystery. (Location 956)

Men are from one planet, women from another. Each gender understands the language and customs of its own planet, but the other planet often seems foreign. (Location 1010)

Once you know which two Advantages you’re already using to the highest degree, you can synchronize the various aspects of your interactions with others so that you have a defined niche, and so that you don’t have to keep reinventing the wheel. (Location 1058)

The more accurately you understand how others are reading your cues, and the more accurately you read their cues, the more successful your communication will be. (Location 1067)

It describes the brain’s tendency to quickly form overall opinions, often based on one trait. For example, if we determine that a person is intelligent, we might also imagine that they are successful or hardworking. (Location 1078)

You are perfect for certain things. You are wrong for others. You do not have to be perfect for everything. (Location 1099)

If you are not creating a negative response from somebody, you’re probably not very fascinating to anybody. (Location 1159)

Identify ways in which you are distinctly unique.         •  Rather than spreading yourself thin by trying to be good at everything, insanely overdeliver in these specific areas.         •  Don’t just have customers. Have fanatics.         •  Don’t be afraid to “strategically polarize” your audience. If you are right for everyone, you’re probably not fascinating anyone. The goal is not to be liked by everyone, but to be loved by a core audience. (Location 1181)

You will never rise to your greatest potential by being all things to all people. (Location 1237)

Identify how you are MOST likely to add distinct value. Do more of this. Identify how you are LEAST likely to add distinct value. Do less of this. (Location 1253)

Team Mystique spoke little, working solo alongside each other, writing notes on their own pads of paper before going around the circle. One by one, they quietly outlined their thoughts to each other. Each of them had carefully considered their ideas before putting them forward to the team. (Location 1331)

Next I walked over to Team Prestige. They had many excellent ways to improve results and raise the bar. (And I’m not entirely certain, but I think I overheard the Prestige members debating which of them should be selected to present their idea—before they’d even begun discussing ideas.) (Location 1338)

In certain situations, personalities with Mystique have a certain advantage. They think before speaking. They observe. They watch. Mystique is the language of listening. (Location 1391)

With Mystique, substance wins over style. They’re never gimmicky. Never tacky or flashy or brassy. They don’t pitch fits or throw tantrums. Mystique personalities worry less about how they look on the outside, and more about what’s going on inside someone’s head. (Location 1395)

These introverts naturally restrain their emotions, and are unlikely to succumb to the “mood du jour.” You might find it difficult to gauge what they really think, but this makes their conclusions more credible, because they’ve probably vetted their thinking before sharing it. (Location 1569)

Need a negotiator on your team? Look for a Mystique personality. Poker-faced, they keep their cards close to their chest. They won’t be distracted by bullying or tricks. They remain unruffled under pressure. (Location 1574)

Mystique personalities avoid distractions and don’t spend much time around the water cooler. They prefer to get on with their job rather than spend time in lighthearted social chats. Their time management skills are excellent. (Location 1585)

It’s the business owner who’s able to negotiate the best deals; and you never quite understand how he does it. Hire more Mystique personalities if you want to implement a more analytical approach or need to boost your team’s negotiation power. (Location 1596)

Ambitious and determined, they don’t want to disappoint. They help and encourage co-workers to achieve in everything they do. (Location 1616)

These overachievers are admired for their assertiveness, expertise, and high-quality results. (Location 1620)

They prepare their sales pitches meticulously. They do several practice runs in front of a mirror. They study Steve Jobs’s product launch videos to emulate his presentational skills. Their PowerPoint slides reveal their ambitious process. (Location 1623)

They are proud of their achievements. And rightly so. They may display diplomas, prizes, and awards in their home study or on their office wall. Among the various academic achievements you may find a high school football trophy, (Location 1627)

They don’t do average—not even for a hobby. They practice playing the piano daily. (Location 1630)

Their uncompromising attitude drives their team to achieve what some team members might not have thought was possible. (Location 1632)

They have their agenda and work toward it with conviction. Uncompromisingly. They’ll scrutinize each detailed point in a contract. Nothing escapes their attention. (Location 1635)

The Prestige Advantage helps you to achieve more by aiming higher and by planning how to reach (or exceed) your goals. Prestige also reminds you to evaluate your work and analyze how you could push yourself to be even better. (Location 1650)

A Quick Review of the Seven Advantages POWER: You lead with authority. PASSION: You connect with emotion. MYSTIQUE: You communicate with care. PRESTIGE: You set the standard. ALERT: You protect the details. INNOVATION: You bring creativity. TRUST: You build loyalty. (Location 1833)

1.   THE ADJECTIVE: How you are different       2.   THE NOUN: What you do best (Location 1921)

At work or when playing sports, they are intensely competitive. They want to achieve the best quality, the highest level, and the most excellent results. They strive to improve. (Location 2818)

They call you into their office to have a quiet word with you. (Location 2850)

The Rockstar will generate lots of fresh ideas, while The Royal Guard selects the best ideas and implements them. The Avant-Garde is an enterprising leader who adds creativity to the team. (Location 2853)

They influence their staff with rational arguments and firm leadership. They’re admired by your bankers with their in-depth market knowledge and grasp of financials. (Location 3246)

Your personality normally uses two Advantages: primary and secondary. These two Advantages balance each other and help your Archetype communicate within a healthy range. (Location 4387)

Mystique personalities tend to be secretive. They rarely share information about themselves, but too much secrecy can negatively impact their trustworthiness. You may wonder whether they have something to hide. (Location 4508)

They become aloof and standoffish. Their lack of warmth may make them seem disinterested. And it becomes difficult to connect with colleagues and engage with clients. (Location 4513)

Anton speaks Mystique, which is the language of listening. Yet in Double Trouble mode, he only speaks the language of introversion. (Location 4520)

elevating the perceived value of the sale, which makes the idea or service more enticing to the purchaser. (Location 4743)

You could motivate them with curiosity by communicating with Mystique: “I have a great game to play. But I’m not going to tell you what it is until you eat the broccoli.” (Location 4790)

With Prestige, you might spark a little competitive spirit: “Okay, kids, who’s going to be tonight’s broccoli-eating champion?” (Location 4792)

Mystique Advantage means that this employee wants to focus on the results without a lot of fuss or drama. You won’t always know what he is thinking or doing; however, you will see all the “proof in the pudding.” Stand back, advise as needed, but direct with a light touch. He doesn’t want to belabor discussions about process, and usually shies away from on-the-spot group brainstorming. His skill at complex mental assignments means he often excels in information-driven roles, usually behind the scenes. (Location 4879)

An employee with a Prestige Advantage aims for tangible evidence of success. Because she seeks to exceed expectations, it’s important to help her by giving clear goals, with clearly outlined expectations and a way to self-check progress. Incentive programs will work extremely well to inspire exceptional efforts; these don’t necessarily need to be extravagant, but rather, symbolic demonstrations that the employee is overdelivering for you. One last word of caution: She will be demoralized, if not wounded, by public criticism. Reprimand her carefully, and praise as often as warranted. (Location 4883)

First, the bad news. Struggling to marginally improve the less valuable parts of yourself won’t work. At least, it won’t work without a lot of strain and expense. (Location 5025)

If you’re feeling frustrated by trying to be all things to all people, this is a relief. You can stop trying to be that. Instead of making major changes, you can tweak the pieces that will give you maximum leverage. Find one or two details that distinguish you from other people, and then clearly communicate those details, over and over. The more that you can identify your .1% difference and apply it in the right places, the more valuable you become. (Location 5036)

You’d be intensely valuable. You’d live inside your primary and secondary Advantages. This would energize and elevate you. You could raise your prices and attract all the right clients. In this idealistic world, you’d never be forced to call upon your dormant Advantage, which means you’d be less exhausted. Imagine . . . ​no quicksand to pull down your efforts! (Location 5042)

For instance, if you’re a business owner, your personality helps you grow your business without spending more money on marketing, without getting a new lease on an office space, without hiring more people. Your personality doesn’t depreciate over time. (Location 5059)

Some types of communication make you feel energized and confident. These are your wellsprings. Other types of communication are stressful and draining, and these are your quicksand. (Location 5075)

become more successful, you do not have to change who you are. You have to become more of who you are. (Location 5078)

Over the long run, shy or low-key personalities can be as fascinating as the most charismatic ones. (Location 5083)

You do not have to be perfect at everything. But you do have to be extraordinary at something. Your Anthem lights the way to your most extraordinary qualities, so that you can focus on what you naturally do best. (Location 5104)

But you do have to be extraordinary at something. Your Anthem lights the way to your most extraordinary qualities, so that you can focus on what you naturally do best. (Location 5104)

Taglines offer a bite-size snack version of the buffet meal. (Location 5110)

Unlike an elevator pitch, your Anthem is not a “pitch.” Unlike a mission statement, your Anthem is not a projection of who you hope to become at some point. It’s who you already are, today, at your most valuable. (Location 5149)

Employees are most fulfilled and successful when their company doesn’t try to change who they are, but rather, supports them in becoming more of who they naturally are, at their best. (Location 5215)

Even from Andy’s first meeting, he is quietly intense. Not warm or chatty. Unlike many financial planners, he doesn’t sound like a brochure. (Location 5452)

The Lesson: The higher the stakes, the more important it becomes to deliver value. Your Anthem is your single most important objective. If nothing else, you must deliver your Anthem, or you will miss your key opening. Don’t get pulled in a hundred directions. Plan ahead. Think through the meeting, and all the ways that your words and actions will fulfill your Anthem’s promise. You are the ideal person for this opportunity because you deliver [insert your Anthem here]. (Location 5466)